Chapter Sixteen, The Mother Son College Odyssey

Last night, Robin cooked some incredible curried chicken on the grill. She made a tandoori marinade made with a recipe from her deceased husband. The three of us sat outside at a little round table and ate sweet, spicy barbequed chicken, salad and roasted naan. Robin started regaling Eli with stories about when we met and how we met at conference and did workshops on sexual abuse and trauma together, back in the years when The Courage to Heal was in its heyday. She started telling him stories about how famous I was 20 years ago and what an incredible impact The Courage to Heal had in starting a whole social change movement. “Did you know your mom started a whole social and political movement?” “

“No,” he replied.

“Do you know the impact her work has had all over the world?”

“No.”

“Did you know that your mom used to travel around and that she had groupies who just wanted to touch her and be around her?”

“No.”

“Do you know that she had to register in hotels under assumed names so no one would know she was there?”

“No!”

She was funny and dramatic and Eli’s jaw dropped in amazement. He kept laughing and repeated over and over, “You had groupies?” And that just egged Robin on to tell another story. She told stories about things I’d either forgotten about completely or hadn’t thought about in twenty years.

Then I started chiming in. Eli was completely dumfounded at the descriptions of people lining up around the block to hear me speak. His responses were completely entertaining. I felt delighted to have a son old enough to share these parts of my past with him; it’s remarkable that he is actually old enough to start gaining a perspective on who I was before he was born. Imagine that—I’m more than just his mother!

Robin also told Eli how I used to cry and tell her how burnt out I was from being on the road and that what I really longed for was a partner and a baby. Then she turned to Eli and said, “And you were the baby!” It was very sweet.

After an hour or so of this, Eli started laughing again in disbelief (at the idea of groupies) and said, “This is way more educational than anything I’ve learned at all these colleges!”

He was such a mench tonight. I was so proud of him. It’s been reassuring to observe Eli as a guest in other people’s homes. He’s holed up in his room a lot, doing homework and texting Ashley, but when he’s come out to join us, he’s been articulate, helpful, polite, and appreciative of the food. These qualities are not generally apparent when we’re at home.

Knowing that he can act right in public is reassuring and makes me proud. He’s a personable, sweet, engaged and interesting young man. It’s a pleasure to see him through other people’s eyes.

I’m so glad we’ve gotten to take this trip together.

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sounds like eli will be just fine when he has gone and flown the coop
written by Petrina, April 08, 2010

some of my fave moments..when you guys looked at each other and both knew to dash on the rest of that tour. when eli opened his laptop and started ignoring you by DOING HIS HOMEWORK! i can totally picture his face as he learns slices of your history from robin smilies/shocked.gif

...thanx for making the virtual version of your tour so entertaining. its been fun to be along for the ride smilies/cheesy.gif

. have a safe flight home!

Sad to see your adventure is coming to a close.
written by Joanna, April 08, 2010

I've thoroughly enjoyed logging on to your adventure each and every day. Thanks for such an entertaining and thoughtful blog! Love, Joanna

Fame
written by Bing Shaw, April 08, 2010

I knew of you, Laura, long before I met you. My mother-in-law told me about The Courage to Heal because of the impact it had on her life.

It has been such a pleasure to read your blog--so educational (I'm glad I'm not 18 and applying to colleges these days) and heart-warming (to see your "baby" grow into a person you not only love, but actually like). Eli will soar.

...
written by Diane Turner, April 09, 2010

Thanks ever so for the lovely tour. I'm still basking in the afterglow of your travels.
Safe trip home.

Thanks!
written by Hera, April 09, 2010

Laura, thanks for sharing your trip with your son! I have always admired your writing abilities, and thanks to you, I was able to begin my own empowerment and self-awareness. Your telling of my story of estrangement & reconciliation with my own son in "I Thought We'd Never Speak Again" was the initiial catharis I needed in order to go forward in my life! Glad to hear that your relationship with Eli is so great! I wish him good luck in college! Hera

The End/ The Beginning
written by Sarah Melici, April 09, 2010

I hate to see your trip end but it is also a beginning - the beginning of a new relationship with Eli. Fabulous!

...
written by Jodi , April 10, 2010

Thanks for sharing your adventures with your son. They stirred up concerns for me. Will my son pass elementary school? If I take a community college tour in eight years would that be an odyssey? Eli is lucky! So am I to have our paths cross. I guess I'm a present day groupie. It was great to follow your trip. Welcome back!